Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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