It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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