just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
false alarm, still single
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
