I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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