yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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