he thought i was a dude.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
