GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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