Im at strip club and am horny
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
