Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
only you would photoshop your dick
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
