why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
