I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
