just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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