Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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