"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
