So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
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Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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