Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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