Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
