What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
