I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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