I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?