dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.