Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
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I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...