three words: i give head
three words: not that well
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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