i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
