I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
