it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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