1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
