Sponge bath it is.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
