Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think my vagina is haunted
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
