thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
