I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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