question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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