I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
