my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
