Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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