You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
