got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
