Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
