New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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