Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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