I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
