his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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