honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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