you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
