He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
