I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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