We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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