This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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