All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I puked a lego.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
