Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
