O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize