I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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