I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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