How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
