also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
