i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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