it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
