There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
